Sad.

I haven't been posting lately because I'm just so sad all the time, and since I'm sad, I haven't been eating a normal amount. I have been eating far too much. I need to stop. I have a little over two weeks before florida, and I want to be 125 by the time I leave. I think I can do it.

Softball started so I get the right amount of exercise, plus I get some muscle from it. Thats good. I am really going to go back to restricting what I eat again. I need to work hard for this. I want it, because I have to start wearing bathing suits soon, and I'm way too embarassed. I'm just so nasty and fat.

I have had 300 calories today so far. I had oatmeal for breakfast (100) and I had a raisin bagel for lunch (200). I am not going to eat until after softball, and that will be soup which is going to be 120 calories. That means that my total will be below 500...Thankgod. I won't let myself eat anything more after that, I swear.

Wish me luck!

Starve on,
Lacie.