I'm so lonely lately. I feel like if i had a friend who was just like me, then this would be so much easier. Like i wish i had an Ana-buddy. I wish that somebody read my blog so then they'd see that i need help. I just want someone who understands who will always be there to talk to, so i could like text them or something. I just feel like i'm alone in all this, even though i know there are so many more girls like me. I wish i could connect with one of them. I just need help, someone to push me along, and i could help them too.
Today was bad. I didn't do well at all and i don't really want to talk about it. The good news is that i haven't gained any weight from the christmas rush. That was such a shock. I need to really get back in the swing of things though. I'm just doing so badly at calorie counting. I've changed my mind and decided to go back to a food journal, but i'm going to do it a little differently than i was before. I hope it helps.
Tomorrow i don't think i'm going to eat. Its like i would eat 100 calories a day, but as soon as i eat one thing, i wanna eat EVERYTHING! And its like i have no control anymore. I feel best when i don't eat at all, or eat like negetive calorie things. I might eat an apple tomorrow, and then i'll just have water or zero calorie sodas. I think that would be best. I usually have trouble decideing WHEN to eat the one apple though. Like, i like to feel hungry, so maybe i just won't eat it at all. I don't know, whatever. I'm going to figure it out.
I really just need someone. I hope that maybe someone will read this, and they'll see that i need help. I just want a friend that can help me and that i can help. I need someone really bad ):
Stay strong, starve on,
8 years ago