Discipline is remembering what you want.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I have such a bad headache. I want to go to sleep but yet i don't. I recently read about certain like fruits and vegetables that just have like, negetive calories. Does that not sound like HEAVEN to you ?! No calories and i can eat something, and it won't make me horribly fat? Thats pretty much the most amazing thing i have ever heard of. I stored them all in my phone so that i don't forget them. I'm so happy i googled that haha.

I think i'm eating too much lately. I have just been like, tasting things i guess and i feel like its all going to add up and i'm gonna be so huge by the end of the week. I'm done with that. I'm not going to eat anymore than 100 calories tomorrow and i'm going to run. Its snowy and wet outside though so i might have to use the treadmill, which i hate. I like to go somewhere when i run, and the treadmill doesn't get me anywhere. I like to look around and stuff, but the treadmill is just so lame.

Sometimes i feel like i'm getting thinner, and i look in the mirror and it seems that way, but i know its just a trick. That stupid mirror wants me to be fat. My jeans fall off so that i will think i'm losing, when i know for real that i'm not. The only thing that doesn't lie to me are the numbers on the scale, the horrible, wicked numbers on the scale. They make me cry.

I wish i was just lucky, then i wouldn't have to do all this. All those girls who don't even work hard to have the body they have are so lucky, i wish i was them.

I'd rather die, than be the way i am right now.

I will be thin,

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