Discipline is remembering what you want.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm so fat and ugly...i hate myself so much. I just want all this ugliness to go away so that i can be the beautiful, thin girl that i know waits inside to come out. I'm going to be thin. I don't care.

NO MORE SLIPS, AND NO MORE BINGES. I refuse to eat anything right now. I just got done throwing up and my throat hurts so bad from shoving my tooth brush so far down there. I hate my life! I seriously just wish i was somebody else; somebody thin and beautiful and amazing and happy. i wish i just didn't have to work hard at this stupid thing.

I'm going to weigh 125 by christmas. I swear i will.

Tomorrow i will not be eating breakfast no matter what my stomach tries to tell me. I might eat something for lunch like carrots or some kind of vegetable, but thats it. Then i have a track meet, and then i have a band concert at school, i should be completely busy and distracted.

I will not have another slip up this whole week, i promise myself that. And i will not let this coming weekend get the better of me, the way the last one did and tonight has. I refuse to. I will be thin, no matter what it takes.

Below a hundred calories tomorrow, i swear to it.

I hate food,

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