They're so beautiful. I run my fingers along them, and i can't wait until i can feel more of my beautiful bones. Bones are so clean, and fat hangs on them like a parasite. I will make it all vanish this year. I will be beautiful and skinny and perfect.
I did very well today on my fast. I didn't eat anything, i just drank water and a sprite zero all day. I drank a lotttt of water. I also went for a 5 mile run, which was amazing. I really needed it because i went through a whole week and did not exercise, and thats crazy. I need exercise, i won't let myself do that again. It made me feel craaapppy.
I'm scared for tomorrow. I'm going to new york with my boyfriend, and i feel like i might have to eat. Keep in mind that he doesn't know about my restrictions, so he might get suspicious when i tell him i'm not hungry or something. I might be able to get away with telling him i just don't really feel well, because he knew i didn't feel so well today. I really really hope that my fast doesn't get messed up because of this, that would really suck.
I can't eat until monday morning, I just can't. If i have to eat tomorrow, i am going to run it all off on sunday, and then not eat anything on monday to make up for if i eat tomorrow. As of now though, i DO NOT plan to touch any food tomorrow. Wish me luck!
So i'm having food diary issues. I just can't seem to keep up with it! I think i'm just going to end it all together, it just doesn't really do much for me because i remember everything anyway. Plus then i feel bad when i forget to write in it. I think i'm just going to not do it anymore, maybe i'll start up again in the future, i don't really know. I am going to try to always put on here what i will be eating the next day. That helps me a lot.
And oh my gosh, i'm in love with thinspirational music. Its just amazing, it helps me so much. When i ran today i listened to my thinspirational playlist, and it made me feel so good. It made it go by really fast, and made me want to keep going. Yay for thinspirational music! (:
Okay well i have to go to sleep early since i'm waking up at like seven am tomorrow. I'm really tired anywayy. Goodnightttttt (:
8 years ago