Discipline is remembering what you want.

Friday, January 1, 2010


They're so beautiful.  I run my fingers along them, and i can't wait until i can feel more of my beautiful bones.  Bones are so clean, and fat hangs on them like a parasite.  I will make it all vanish this year.  I will be beautiful and skinny and perfect. 

I did very well today on my fast.  I didn't eat anything, i just drank water and a sprite zero all day.  I drank a lotttt of water.  I also went for a 5 mile run, which was amazing.  I really needed it because i went through a whole week and did not exercise, and thats crazy.  I need exercise, i won't let myself do that again.  It made me feel craaapppy.

I'm scared for tomorrow.  I'm going to new york with my boyfriend, and i feel like i might have to eat.  Keep in mind that he doesn't know about my restrictions, so he might get suspicious when i tell him i'm not hungry or something.  I might be able to get away with telling him i just don't really feel well, because he knew i didn't feel so well today.  I really really hope that my fast doesn't get messed up because of this, that would really suck. 

I can't eat until monday morning, I just can't.  If i have to eat tomorrow, i am going to run it all off on sunday, and then not eat anything on monday to make up for if i eat tomorrow.  As of now though, i DO NOT plan to touch any food tomorrow.  Wish me luck! 

So i'm having food diary issues.  I just can't seem to keep up with it!  I think i'm just going to end it all together, it just doesn't really do much for me because i remember everything anyway.  Plus then i feel bad when i forget to write in it.  I think i'm just going to not do it anymore, maybe i'll start up again in the future, i don't really know.  I am going to try to always put on here what i will be eating the next day.  That helps me a lot.

And oh my gosh, i'm in love with thinspirational music.  Its just amazing, it helps me so much.  When i ran today i listened to my thinspirational playlist, and it made me feel so good.  It made it go by really fast, and made me want to keep going.  Yay for thinspirational music! (:

Okay well i have to go to sleep early since i'm waking up at like seven am tomorrow.  I'm really tired anywayy.  Goodnightttttt (:

Starve on,

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