It hurts so bad. It all hurts. I feel like the world is against me. Everybody wants me to eat, everybody wants me to be fat. The kids at lunch, my parents, my brother and sister, my best friends, they all want me to fail. They shove food at me from every direction, they stick it down my throat. Pizza, bread, cheese, milk, eggs, calories, things i don't need. Things that make me hurt inside. They'll never know. None of them will ever know how it feels. The pain i feel when i eat food that i don't deserve, food that i don't need. Its impossible to show them. How could they ever understand? They never could.
And now i am done. No more food for the whole weekend. No more food tomorrow. No more food the next day, or the day after that. Stick thin. I want to be stick thin. I'm not going to reach my goal for sunday. No chance. I will be skinny. I don't care how it hurts. Thrust all the food they want at me, and i'll always decline. I don't need food. Food doesn't make people happy. Beauty makes people happy. Thin is beauty, therefore, thin makes people happy. Thin makes me happy. I will be thin. No one will stop me. I hate eating. No more. I'm finished, i won't show weakness. I am not weak. I am strong, and by not eating, i am stronger. I am not safe right now. I will be safe when i reach 100lbs, and safer when i reach 95lbs. I will be safe soon.
We all will.
8 years ago