Discipline is remembering what you want.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The worst week ever

Its been so horrible.
Good News = I haven't gained.
Bad News = I haven't lost.

I have to be in control again.  My tongue is making all my decisions.  It wants to taste peanut butter and dressing, salt, sugar, honey, sugar, chicken, sugar, cheese, sugar, milk, oh and did i mention SUGAR?! I'm having a major sugar issue.  I just always want something sweet.  Does anyone have any advice?  Something sweet but really low in calories.  I'm just having such a hard time with it.

Word to the wise...Walden Farms Peanut Buttter = HORRIBLY TERRIBLY AWFUL.
I hate it.  What a sad excuse for peanut butter substitute.  I feel bad for people who are allergic to gluten and stuff and have to eat that, poor girls and boys.  I will never eat it by choice again.

I"m supposed to go to pizza hut with my friends tomorrow.  I am upset.  I'm fasting all day tomorrow until the outing, probably will go for a 3 - 4 mile run, eating half a slice to a whole slice of pizza, drinking diet coke, and then going home and feeling awful about it.  Ugh.

I broke up with my boyfriend today.  It wasn't working, and i'm kinda sad...but i feel better.  We're better friends than we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we just are.  Things are going to be better this way.

I'm gonna do some crunches tonight before bed, a couple hundred probably.  I just feel awful.  I don't even want to talk about what i ate today or yesterday.  I'm done, i'm so sorry Ana.  I won't hurt you anymore, i won't let you down anymore.

My goal to 125 is starting over today, and i will be 125 by next Sunday.  I know i will.  I will work harder than i have ever worked.  I have to keep decreasing.  I just have to.  I hate staying at one spot on the scale.  I hate it.  I'm done with it.

Knitting is my new distraction...thank you Wintergirls, that helps.

Starve on,

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