Discipline is remembering what you want.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

In school

I'm so tired and bored today. I haven't eaten at all and I'm in school. How sucky. I was surprised i could get on this in school...its blocked but I know a website where I can do whatever i want at school, haha its great. I just have a lot that i'm thinking about and no where to write it all.

Its easy not to eat when you're so close to fitting into a pair of jeans you've been after for a while. I have these jeans that are a size 3 that I am in love with. I want them to fit so bad. I tried them on last night and i feel like i'm pretty close. Maybe after i lost ten more pounds they'll fit right. I hope so, I want to wear them so bad.

I am so bored with food anyway though lately. Its not like we have anything to eat in my house anyway, so I have nothing to binge on, and therefore no problems. School is easy because I'm busy the whole time and i don't have any food. Plus I don't bring any money with me to school, so I can't buy anything. That was the best idea I ever had.

I'm supposed to be in lunch right now but instead I come to the library everyday. Maybe I'll start posting at this time too from now on, then at night when I get home. I don't know, all I know is that I just need to avoid that cafeteria.

I have no intention of eating today, I haven't even really thought about it. I also have track today, so I'm going to be so negetive calories for like two days. Maybe I'll finally lose some weight this way. I don't want to eat ever again haha. I know thats like impossible though. I'm just going to eat ridiculously little.

My family is good inspiration. They know that I'm "dieting" and they constantly make comments and stuff saying that I can't do it. Whatever, I don't need their problems. I can do whatever I want. I'm the one who's going to weigh 100 pounds, they can stuff their faces and I'll just watch. But they make me want to really show them that I can do this, and that I will. I'm going to prove to them that I have self control and willpower, and that I don't need to eat like they do. Not eating is strength. They're weak, I'm not.

Starve on,


  1. I think when you comment back, comment on my profile, cuz i dont know when the heck you respond. ya haha my family knows im "being healthy" now too. they are encouraging but my mom always makes me eat tuna and chicken for protien when i excersize. its not too bad, about 80 cal. and i dont even finish the whole thing if shes not watching. haha my school blocks everything except this! yay!

  2. I try to write posts at school too, but they have this site blocked!!

    You will prove your family wrong!