I want to cut myself. I deserve it. Its punishment. For every 100 calories i don't need i should cut one line into my hip. Its my last resort. I need to get myself under control. Eating is ruining me, and i can't stop. I need to make it stop.
I hate pain, and its going to hurt. I'm going to start small tonight, if i can even do it. Two lines at the most, maybe even just one. Most likely just one. I need this. This is right. This will teach me that food betrays me, and that i don't need it. I've never been at such a low point.
8 years ago