cut

I want to cut myself.  I deserve it.  Its punishment.  For every 100 calories i don't need i should cut one line into my hip.  Its my last resort.  I need to get myself under control.  Eating is ruining me, and i can't stop.  I need to make it stop.

I hate pain, and its going to hurt.  I'm going to start small tonight, if i can even do it.  Two lines at the most, maybe even just one.  Most likely just one.  I need this.  This is right.  This will teach me that food betrays me, and that i don't need it.  I've never been at such a low point.

Starve on,
Lacie.